Home > Daily Logos > Logos [5-28-10]

Logos [5-28-10]

“I read ‘Be angry and sin not’ (Ps. 4:5).  How I was moved, my God!  I had already learnt to be angry with myself for the past, that I should not sin in future.  And I was right to be angry.  For it was no race of darkness of another nature sinning through me, as the Manichees say, who feel no anger against themselves and yet ‘treasure up for themselves anger in the day of wrath and of the revelation of your just judgement’ (Rom. 2: 5).  But now the goods I sought were no longer in the external realm, nor did I seek for them with bodily eyes in the light of this sun.  In desiring to find their delight in externals, they easily become empty and expend their energies on ‘the things which are seen and temporal’ (2 Cor. 4:18).  With starving minds they can only like the images of these things.  Would that they were wearied by hunger and would say ‘Who will show us good?’ (Ps. 4:6 f.).  So let us say, and let them hear: ‘The light of your countenance, Lord, is signed upon us.’  (Ps. 4:7).  For we are not ‘the light that illuminates every man’ (John 1:9).  We derive our light from you, so that we ‘who were once darkness are light in you’ (Eph. 5:8).  If only they could see the eternal to be inward!  I had tasted this, but was enraged that I was unable to show it to them, even if they were to bring their heart to me, though their eyes are turned away from you towards external things, and if they were to say, ‘Who will show us good?’  In the place where I had been angry with myself, within my chamber where I felt the pang of penitence, where I had made a sacrifice offering up my old life and placing my hope in you as I first began to meditate on my renewal: there you began to be my delight, and you gave ‘gladness in my heart’ (Ps. 4:7).  And I cread out loud when I acknowledged inwardly what I read in external words.  I had no desire for earthly goods to be multiplied, nor to devour time and to be devoured by it.  For in the simplicity of eternity I had another kind of ‘corn and wine and oil’ (Ps. 4:9).

[From The Confessions of St. Augustine]

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